In mid-afternoon, on Superbowl Sunday, 2010, I decided to go for a run.

With my wife's help, I managed to sit upright and eventually drag myself out of bed. Slowly, over the next half-hour, she managed to dress me, complete with running shoes and a heavy hooded sweatshirt (although Houston was a muggy 55 degrees); since I was still completely dependent on a feeding tube, I had dropped almost 60 pounds and was continually shivering and susceptible to fatal chills.

I spent the better part of five minutes shuffling to my own back door. Eventually, against my wife's protestations, I ambled out of my house, under my own power, for the first time in over five months.

By the time I staggered to the end of our 100-foot driveway, 5 minutes later, I was sweating and woozy, but I turned the corner and managed to "run" past an additional 3 houses before I threw up and had to return home.  The entire round-trip took slightly over an hour.

As I collapsed back into bed, I promised my wife that I would be back; that, someday soon, I would be able to do all of the things that I once enjoyed.  I owed it to her.  I owed it to me.

I fell asleep and almost missed the New Orleans Saints stun the football world.

*  *  *

Exactly 5 months later, over the 4th of July holiday, I received an e-mail announcement.

I am a triathlete.  I often describe myself as a "State-Ranked Triathlete."

What I neglect to mention is exactly where in the rankings I place.  I am a notoriously bad runner. However, this is often overlooked because I'm even worse at swimming,
...and still worse at biking.
Aside from that, however, I'm right up there with the pro's.  A legend in my own mind.

Yet, embarrassing physical specimen that I am, I continue to receive all of the Triathlon-related literature; all of the magazines and all of the e-mails.  As the Country & Western song says, "The Older I Get, The Better I Was."

The e-mail announcement indicated that the legendary Ironman Triathlon would be holding 28 qualifying Triathlons throughout the world in 2011.  Most importantly, there would be 8 events held in the continental United States and (wait for it...) they had, just this year introduced their newest venue ...in The Woodlands, Texas (a mere 20 miles north of my home)!  And it was to take place on my birthday!

...if there is a God of Triathletes, then this was a sign from God!

I'd had my feeding tubes removed less than 2 months prior. I still had trouble ingesting food.  I was cadaver-thin and could barely walk (...much less run), but, with my wife's enthusiastic permission, I spent a lot of money (that I couldn't afford) for an entry in the 2011 Ironman/Woodlands.

Swim 2.4 miles. Bike 112. Run a full Marathon (26.2 miles).   140.6 miles.  17 hours. 

Piece of cake!

*  *  *

Eventually, after much soul-searching (and a doctor's protestations), I decided not compete in that event (...much more on that later). However, I'm already signed up for Ironman/Woodlands 2012 (to be held on May 19th, 2012).
It is today, early June, 2011. The countdown clock on my computer shows 350 days to go (...and counting).

Watch out Macca; I'm coming after you!